Didnt Mean Anything

[fallin2hell.livejournal.com]

And I'm back again! (ignores groans of disapointment)Some people wanted me to make this longer so here it is. Still a bit short but at least there's more detail to it.

Trapper was having a great time at home. His daughters were growing up into beautiful young ladies and his wife loved him.
Then why are you thinking about Hawkeye?
Back in Korea, Hawkeye and Trapper were dancing together. Frank was in Tokyo so they had the Swamp to themselves and could enjoy all their activities without someone watching.
Suddenly, Hawkeye got serious. "Are you ever going to leave me, Trap?"
"Well, everyone would love to leave here."
"Not the war, me."
"I might. But you'll be able to cope without me, right?"
Hawkeye was silent.
Hawkeye didn't mean anything to him now. He had been just something to fuck untill he got home to the wife he loved.
Thinking about Hawkeye means thinking about Korea.
Like his leaving even meant something to Hawkeye. If his replacement wasn't like Frank, he'd try and get in his pants right away.
You cant deny you're jealous. Now that you're home, you cant find out who he sleeps with and afterwards, make him yours again.
"Oh, John!"
Trapper winced. His beautiful, shrill wife.
"John, the girls are asleep. Maybe we should go to bed."
"Not tonight, dear. Feeling a little tired."
"Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me."
As she seductively went up the stairs, he shook his head. He had just missed out on what could've been the best sex of his life.
No, that was definitely with Hawkeye. Remember the handcuffs?
Trapper couldn't really deny it any longer. He would miss their relationship.
But it didn't mean anything. Not at all.

So, better or worse?

Comments

[janecarnall.livejournal.com]

Worse. I hate it when writers diss the wives.

The first version was short and kinda sweet.

[hawkeyesmartini.livejournal.com]

I think it's better, though you could use a bit of puntuation.

<:3D~

[nakeisha.livejournal.com]

Personally I preferred the first version. However, I did love the little scene with them dancing from this one, it made it even more poignant.

[sharselune.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Some of those comments are unnecessarily harsh.

Thinking about Hawkeye means thinking about Korea. I like that line.

I think the first version is powerful and at first I liked it better, but after rereading it, I think that the second version is better. It is interesting to see how Trapper offhandedly assumes that Hawkeye will be fine without him, but when it comes down to it, he can't live without Hawkeye.

[siggen1.livejournal.com]

Sorry. Liked the short one better.

[subluxate]

Does this mean I'm one of two who prefer this?

I gave you my comments over on the message board. I think I did, anyway.