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mash_slashSo I thought I'd bring you another Hawkney piece and another B-eye piece. I hope you enjoy. ^^
Title: Why
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A relationship leads to contemplation.
Pairing: Sidney/Hawkeye
Disclaimer: Hah, M*A*S*H is not mine. At all. No money is being made from this at all. ‘Tis just for a little slashy fun. ^^
Hawkeye wonders why, sometimes.
Yes, there was a deep friendship between himself and Trapper, and there is the same deep friendship (if not deeper) between himself and BJ now, so surely if he were to fall in love with another man, it’d have to be one of them, right?
And yet, it’s not. It’s the quiet, thin, little man who exudes intelligence and compassion and calm; it’s the shrink.
Hawkeye supposes that fits, since he’s pretty much crazy, but it puzzles him why he’s drawn to the unassuming man. He’s not loud, not obvious, but there’s something there that Hawkeye wants and needs and can’t ever get enough of, no matter how long they spend together. It’s there during their heated therapy sessions and still there during their therapy sessions.
It draws, it lures, it ensnares, and Hawkeye is damned if he can resist it.
Late at night, after particularly fervent activity, Hawkeye ponders, thinks, muses, hopes, and wonders - what is it about me that draws him to me? What will happen after the war? What is all of this to him?
These thoughts terrify him, thus the reason he only dares to think them when the moon is high and there’s a steady sound of familiar breathing next to his ear. He’s never felt like this before, ever; even the times he thought he might be serious - those feelings were nothing compared to these.
Hawkeye battles with himself, not sure whether he should mention these sorts of feelings to Sidney or not. He wants to and aches to, at the same time screaming at himself, “NO ”
Even during the periods of time that Sidney isn’t at the M*A*S*H unit, he still plagues Hawkeye’s mind. He tries half-heartedly to bed others, mostly just out of habit; it’s what’s expected of him. Even when he succeeds, it’s not really succeeding, because it’s just another person that isn’t Sidney, and it’s never the same. It’s not rough hands with callouses sliding over him, surprising gentle, or a warm insistent mouth with an unmistakable mustache above it. It’s not Sidney, not his Sidney, taking over, taking the lead, letting him be the one to relax and just let go and feel.
He likes that feeling, being taken care of, and he never has before. He’s always been No-Strings-Attached-Hawkeye-Pierce, so why is it the always free, strong-willed, independent little puppet suddenly wants those strings all of a sudden?
Maybe it’s the war, the feeling of hopelessness and being disconnected from anyone and everyone that makes him want stability, to be attached to something, or someone.
Or maybe this has always been apart of him, buried deep inside, waiting for the right person to bring it out of him.
Hawkeye sighs and closes his eyes, trying to will himself to sleep. The slow, steady breathing and the warm body next to him help with that, he admits, dozing off finally.
Yes, Hawkeye wonders why, sometimes.
He has no idea that Sidney sometimes wonders the exact same thing.
-End
Title: Contradictions
Rating: PG
Summary: Sometimes things seem one way (but they’re really another.)
Pairing: Hawkeye/BJ
A/N: This was written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
teapot_yo’s birthday.
With the way they behave, you’d think it’d be more romantic than it is, (that it’d be like it should be.)
Maybe BJ would try to make something for them to eat, Hawkeye would get a candle, they’d laugh and chat and dine and have a date and then move on to being together (instead of just screwing.)
But that would require words and words would require thought which would require them admitting what was really going on and that would bring on the doubts, the fears, the insecurities, the obstacles, the reasons why they shouldn’t do it, (the deeper feelings, the three words that change everything, what would happen after the war.)
That would bring up complications; (the complications that exist anyway).
This way, they’re just close friends who confide in one another and occasionally have sex with each other. No talking, no attempt at romance, just two people who need someone, anyone (but really each other) reaching out and trying to quench the feelings of loneliness.
Hawkeye knows that BJ is just his best friend and fuck buddy (even though his feelings say that he’s worth far more.)
BJ can tell that Hawkeye will never take the place in his heart that only Peg has (if it weren’t painfully obvious that he already has.)
With no words there to get in the way, no admittance, no extra thought, these feelings stay buried, where they belong (no matter how much either of them might wish they could share them.)
The way it is right now is perfect (except for the part where it isn’t) and neither one of them are going to speak up and break the spell that has seemingly ensnared them.
They’re happy.
(They’re not.)
They like everything how it is.
(They wish it were more.)
And both of them know exactly where the other stands.
(Neither of them have a clue.)
-End
Cross-posted at my LJ.
Title: Why
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A relationship leads to contemplation.
Pairing: Sidney/Hawkeye
Disclaimer: Hah, M*A*S*H is not mine. At all. No money is being made from this at all. ‘Tis just for a little slashy fun. ^^
Hawkeye wonders why, sometimes.
Yes, there was a deep friendship between himself and Trapper, and there is the same deep friendship (if not deeper) between himself and BJ now, so surely if he were to fall in love with another man, it’d have to be one of them, right?
And yet, it’s not. It’s the quiet, thin, little man who exudes intelligence and compassion and calm; it’s the shrink.
Hawkeye supposes that fits, since he’s pretty much crazy, but it puzzles him why he’s drawn to the unassuming man. He’s not loud, not obvious, but there’s something there that Hawkeye wants and needs and can’t ever get enough of, no matter how long they spend together. It’s there during their heated therapy sessions and still there during their therapy sessions.
It draws, it lures, it ensnares, and Hawkeye is damned if he can resist it.
Late at night, after particularly fervent activity, Hawkeye ponders, thinks, muses, hopes, and wonders - what is it about me that draws him to me? What will happen after the war? What is all of this to him?
These thoughts terrify him, thus the reason he only dares to think them when the moon is high and there’s a steady sound of familiar breathing next to his ear. He’s never felt like this before, ever; even the times he thought he might be serious - those feelings were nothing compared to these.
Hawkeye battles with himself, not sure whether he should mention these sorts of feelings to Sidney or not. He wants to and aches to, at the same time screaming at himself, “NO ”
Even during the periods of time that Sidney isn’t at the M*A*S*H unit, he still plagues Hawkeye’s mind. He tries half-heartedly to bed others, mostly just out of habit; it’s what’s expected of him. Even when he succeeds, it’s not really succeeding, because it’s just another person that isn’t Sidney, and it’s never the same. It’s not rough hands with callouses sliding over him, surprising gentle, or a warm insistent mouth with an unmistakable mustache above it. It’s not Sidney, not his Sidney, taking over, taking the lead, letting him be the one to relax and just let go and feel.
He likes that feeling, being taken care of, and he never has before. He’s always been No-Strings-Attached-Hawkeye-Pierce, so why is it the always free, strong-willed, independent little puppet suddenly wants those strings all of a sudden?
Maybe it’s the war, the feeling of hopelessness and being disconnected from anyone and everyone that makes him want stability, to be attached to something, or someone.
Or maybe this has always been apart of him, buried deep inside, waiting for the right person to bring it out of him.
Hawkeye sighs and closes his eyes, trying to will himself to sleep. The slow, steady breathing and the warm body next to him help with that, he admits, dozing off finally.
Yes, Hawkeye wonders why, sometimes.
He has no idea that Sidney sometimes wonders the exact same thing.
-End
Title: Contradictions
Rating: PG
Summary: Sometimes things seem one way (but they’re really another.)
Pairing: Hawkeye/BJ
A/N: This was written for
teapot_yo’s birthday.With the way they behave, you’d think it’d be more romantic than it is, (that it’d be like it should be.)
Maybe BJ would try to make something for them to eat, Hawkeye would get a candle, they’d laugh and chat and dine and have a date and then move on to being together (instead of just screwing.)
But that would require words and words would require thought which would require them admitting what was really going on and that would bring on the doubts, the fears, the insecurities, the obstacles, the reasons why they shouldn’t do it, (the deeper feelings, the three words that change everything, what would happen after the war.)
That would bring up complications; (the complications that exist anyway).
This way, they’re just close friends who confide in one another and occasionally have sex with each other. No talking, no attempt at romance, just two people who need someone, anyone (but really each other) reaching out and trying to quench the feelings of loneliness.
Hawkeye knows that BJ is just his best friend and fuck buddy (even though his feelings say that he’s worth far more.)
BJ can tell that Hawkeye will never take the place in his heart that only Peg has (if it weren’t painfully obvious that he already has.)
With no words there to get in the way, no admittance, no extra thought, these feelings stay buried, where they belong (no matter how much either of them might wish they could share them.)
The way it is right now is perfect (except for the part where it isn’t) and neither one of them are going to speak up and break the spell that has seemingly ensnared them.
They’re happy.
(They’re not.)
They like everything how it is.
(They wish it were more.)
And both of them know exactly where the other stands.
(Neither of them have a clue.)
-End
Cross-posted at my LJ.
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no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 04:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 04:37 am (UTC)Thanks for the comment. XD
no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 06:41 am (UTC)that last line just completes it. there can never be too much Hawkeye/Sidney slash in the world, especially when it's greatly written. like that was
no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 06:45 pm (UTC)Glad you liked. XD
no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 07:25 am (UTC)You made my day here - thanks!
no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 06:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 08:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 06:46 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked it. XD
no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 11:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 06:47 pm (UTC)I am secretly very fond of "Contradictions". It's one of my favorite pieces. XD
Glad you liked it. ^^
no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 12:18 pm (UTC)BJ can tell that Hawkeye will never take the place in his heart that only Peg has (if it weren’t painfully obvious that he already has.)
Gorgeous.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-15 06:34 am (UTC)Well, I wasn't as neglectful as I'd feared--left comments on both, though the one for "Contradictions" wasn't much of a review. SO! Here's the review.
BJ can tell that Hawkeye will never take the place in his heart that only Peg has (if it weren’t painfully obvious that he already has.)
Do you mind if I write a companion-ish piece from Peg's point of view as she realizes the change in BJ's feelings?
Your asides are lovely. They show how in denial both were without just saying "They were fooling themselves."
Now I remember why I didn't really review before. I was going to gush over all of it and quote every line.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-15 06:37 am (UTC)Thank you. XD
no subject
Date: 2008-02-24 05:04 am (UTC)