Hi, new!

[diseased-mango.livejournal.com]

Hello all. Newbie here. My name is Diseased Mango, but its far simpler to call me Mango. While I'm new to the M*A*S*H fandom, I'm certainly not new to fanfiction, having written my first fanfiction about the Boxcar Children when I was eight. Since then, my main fandoms have become Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Matrix, and now M*A*S*H. Here's a very short drabble I just turned out as a means of introduction.

 

Title: Pissing Contest

Author: Diseased Mango

Rating: Soft R

Pairing: Chawkeye

Word Count: 352

Warning: Language, sexual themes, vague implications of D/s, first fanfic, unbetaed

It’s like any of the other pissing contests they’ve gotten into at the 4077th, this thing that they have going on between them. This is just like the time Charles received that damn horn and wouldn’t shut up for days! Only this time, instead of trying to see who can make the most god-awful noise in Korea, it’s a contest to see who can be the most silent. Who can make the other scream first? Who has the willpower to keep the legs of the cot from pounding rhythmically into the ground?

It’s like the time Charles refused to speak because he got passed over for the position of Head Ass-Kisser at Who Cares Hospital in You’re Never Going Home, Anyway. This time, though, the rolls are reversed, and it’s Hawkeye who’s trying desperately not to say anything – not to let anything slip. It’s Charles who’s trying to get him to talk. He plays a dangerous game, throwing innuendos-that-aren’t-quite-inuendos across the operating table, confusing everyone else while Hawkeye comes back with a witty retort to cover up his unease.

It’s like the time they were purposely mixing truth and tale, to see who could get away with more bullshit…only Charles wasn’t bullshitting, not even a little bit. And now, it’s all about who can walk without limping the next day, because they’re both sore but they won’t show it. It’s all about who can look people in the eye and pretend the best they can that they aren’t fucking each other…and once again, Charles has the advantage, because he isn’t fucking anyone. Not technically, Hawkeye is the one who does all the work.

It’s just like when all the officers tried to play Charles for an idiot, and ended up getting played themselves. But this time, it’s between Charles and Hawkeye, and the stakes are much higher than a stack of red script. This is about seeing who will crack first, who will slip up, who won’t muffle that moan in time. This isn’t anything like the other pissing contests they got into, because this time, no one can win…not without losing.