[identity profile] finding-jay.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] mash_slash

Oh, my God, look at the n00b. Let’s all throw rocks at Jay as she comes, baring ficlet.

Title: Leg Out
Rating: G/PG
Summary: BJ’s efforts at falling asleep are in vain.
Pairing: BJ/Hawkeye
Disclaimer: Me? Own M*A*S*H? Oh, you kid.

It’s one of those nights when it’s difficult to decide whether or not one should use a blanket, and BJ Hunnicutt is in the middle of deciding as beads of sweat run down his back. It’s either hideously late or hideously early, and BJ most certainly doesn’t want to know which one it is. Fresh out of the O.R., he finally collapses on his cot, wriggles under the thin covers, and decides after much deliberation to have one leg under the bedclothes, the other on top; it’s too cold to have both out, and too hot to have both in.

His eyes are closed, and he’s willing himself to sleep when the sound of someone entering the tent disrupts him out of his drowsy state. He keeps his eyes closed as the someone rustles around, shoes are kicked off, and a sigh breaks the muggy, but still, air. BJ listens carefully as Hawkeye- he knows it’s Hawkeye, he doesn’t need any other proof, and Winchester is either back in the O.R., or on post-op duty- meanders about in the tent once more.

Another shuffle breaks the air, and suddenly the edge of BJ’s cot sinks. A pause and BJ can feel Hawkeye’s gaze upon him. It isn’t uncomfortable, but BJ is strangely aware of the way he’s lying, and the coldness of the air, and the sounds outside the tent.

He opens his eyes, and he looks at his friend. Hawkeye looks like wasn’t ready for BJ’s sudden awakening. It’s one of those moments when Hawkeye has let his guard, his mask, his shell fall, and he is at his most vulnerable. His mouth is in a thin line, his brow furrowed, and for a split second, he appears unexplainably old.

BJ feels even older.

There is a silence between them, when Hawkeye leans down, his lips are pressed against BJ’s. It’s not much of a kiss- neither of them moves, but it’s open mouthed, and Hawkeye’s lower is caught somewhere between BJ’s, and it’s outrageously awkward, and BJ’s neck is starting to hurt. But neither of them moves, and so they stay like that, leaning into a painful kiss.

When the time comes for them to part, Hawkeye stands, and pushes mouth into a weak, half-hearted smile, and heads to his cot, leaving BJ to wonder whether or not it’s a leg in or leg out night.

Date: 2005-06-09 01:40 pm (UTC)
subluxate: Sophia Bush leaning against a piano (Default)
From: [personal profile] subluxate
Hm, is it his brow that's furrowed?

I like the "painful kiss" part. Like it all, but that part is very nicely written. Your last sentence leaves so many possibilies open, which is very cool.

Date: 2005-06-09 11:30 pm (UTC)
subluxate: Sophia Bush leaning against a piano (Default)
From: [personal profile] subluxate
Anytime. Mind if I friend you?

Date: 2005-06-09 03:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nakeisha.livejournal.com
Oh, what a lovely little bitter sweet offering. I can clearly see Hawkeye when you say

when Hawkeye has let his guard, his mask, his shell fall, and he is at his most vulnerable. His mouth is in a thin line, his furrowed, and for a split second, he appears unexplainably old.

It's so telling.

Date: 2005-06-09 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qzee.livejournal.com
very nice, very descriptive of the situation and since we've been having that "is it a leg in or leg out night" weather lately I can picture BJ and Hawk in my bed.

Date: 2005-06-09 06:14 pm (UTC)
sarcasticsra: A picture of a rat snuggling a teeny teddy bear. (Default)
From: [personal profile] sarcasticsra
No rocks here! ^^

I liked this. Especially:

There is a silence between them, when Hawkeye leans down, his lips are pressed against BJ’s. It’s not much of a kiss- neither of them moves, but it’s open mouthed, and Hawkeye’s lower is caught somewhere between BJ’s, and it’s outrageously awkward, and BJ’s neck is starting to hurt. But neither of them moves, and so they stay like that, leaning into a painful kiss.

It's very... realistic, I guess is the word I'm looking for. Nice job.

Date: 2005-06-09 06:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] takenhawkeye.livejournal.com
Ah, you perfectly expressed that "one leg in, one leg out" feeling. I've never thought of it put that way, but it's well-written and described right on.

As for the painful kiss, I just love it. Great imagery, and it's so lovely.

Nice job.

Farewell.

Date: 2005-06-10 08:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilmissfury.livejournal.com
Pardon me while I sit here and drool a little bit more. You made me feel everything you were writing, and there are only a few author's period who are able to do that because I've built such walls around myself

*stands and applauds*

Nice Job,
Farewell
From: [identity profile] teapot-yo.livejournal.com
WHY DID I NOT READ THIS BEFORE!

Hawkeye looks like wasn’t ready for BJ’s sudden awakening. It’s one of those moments when Hawkeye has let his guard, his mask, his shell fall, and he is at his most vulnerable. His mouth is in a thin line, his brow furrowed, and for a split second, he appears unexplainably old.

Ohh my, how lovely, especially the "unexplainably old" bit which I am unexplainably IN LOVE WITH.

BJ feels even older.

WHOA NICE FOLLOW-UP.

And then the whole awkward kiss thing? LOVELY. Really, I love how BJ's neck hurts and he doesn't move. Makes me say yes!

Psh this whole FIC makes me say yes. HANG AROUND HERE. WE APPRECIATE PEOPLE WHO CAN WRITE WELL. *points to you*
From: [identity profile] teapot-yo.livejournal.com
hahaha don't be scared. i am a pretty enthusiastic person, i think. especially with comments.
subluxate: Sophia Bush leaning against a piano (Default)
From: [personal profile] subluxate
She scares everyone at first. It's nothing to be concerned about =)
sarcasticsra: A picture of a rat snuggling a teeny teddy bear. (Default)
From: [personal profile] sarcasticsra
Do not be frightened of the Caroline. She's harmless. ^^
From: [identity profile] teapot-yo.livejournal.com
HAHAHA WTF IS THIS. I have never scared anyone in my entire life and this is the honest to God truth.

Better late then never....

Date: 2005-07-21 06:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] punkishchick200.livejournal.com
I know this has been posted for a while but I just found it and I just had to say how much I enjoyed it. It was wonderful. ^-^

Re: Better late then never....

Date: 2005-07-22 04:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] punkishchick200.livejournal.com
You're very welcome ^-^ Would it be all right if I friend you?

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