40 feet remain.
May. 19th, 2005 10:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sarcasticsra posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
mash_slashYay for Hawkney. ^_^
Title: Want
Author: Me
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A prequel to “Need.”
Pairing: Hawkeye/Sidney
Disclaimer: Uh. Not mine, I promise. I’m just playing with them. I’ll put them back into the toy chest when I’m done.
I sit in the VIP tent unable to sleep. I’ve had the worst case of insomnia, lately, and I don’t know why. It’s ironic, but I can easily help others figure out what’s wrong with them, but when it comes to myself, most of the time I’m lost.
Suddenly, I hear knocking. “Come in,” I say and you walk into the tent with a tired smile. “Hawkeye, how can I help you?” You sit down in a chair
“Hi, Sidney. I couldn’t sleep and saw your light on. Figured I’d drop in for a chat,” you say, lightly, but I can tell something is wrong.
“What’s wrong, Hawkeye?” I ask, looking into your eyes briefly. I don’t know why, but lately I’ve been having trouble doing that for any length of time. Every time I do, I get this strange feeling. I don’t know how long this feeling has been there, but recently it’s been getting stronger. I think I know what it is, but I’m afraid to acknowledge it.
“You always know. I thought you were a psychiatrist, not a psychic.” You smile weakly. “Have you ever felt something for someone you shouldn’t be feeling?”
Yes.
“Ah, I think we all have. Who is it, Hawkeye?”
“BJ.”
I’m sure my eyes widen - I wasn’t expecting that. I was expecting one of the married nurses, or someone along those lines. But your best friend? Well, that throws me for a loop.
It also causes another strange emotion to well up inside me. What is that? Jealousy? Impossible.
“BJ?” I ask. I think the shock is clear in my voice.
It’s jealousy.
You look at me seriously. “You don’t think I’m... a freak, right?”
I constantly see you either laughing and joking or serious and angry and I forget how child-like your behavior gets at times. You’ve always been a complex person. Maybe that is why I’m drawn to you.
“No, Hawkeye. You’re not a freak.” I sigh.
Standing up from the chair, you walk over to me and sit down next to me. “What’s wrong with you, Sidney?”
“Nothing. Trying to take my job, are you?” I smile insincerely. You notice.
“No, I’m a friend who’s concerned.”
“Let’s just say... I understand your problem first hand.”
You nod, seemingly unfazed and not surprised. “Who?”
The decision - to tell or not to tell. It’s unsettling, being a shrink, being someone who figures out other people’s thoughts and feelings for a living, and having little control over my own.
“You.” I whisper, completely without permission from my mind.
“Me?” You seem surprised, and, if I can tell from your look, to be thinking, ‘What’s so great about me?’
I open my mouth to speak again, but I’m surprised once more. You kiss me.
I don’t know why, I don’t know what you’re thinking or what possessed you, and I’m not really concerned with any of those matters right now. I kiss back.
How long do we sit there kissing? I don’t know, but as soon as I feel your hands on me, I jump, and pull away. What am I doing? You’re my patient. You came to me for help
You have feelings for someone else.
“Hawkeye, what - ”
“Shhh...” you whisper, bringing your finger to my lips. I’ve never seen you like this. You really are rather complex. How many different sides to your personality are there? “We both want this.” You add, before descending on my lips once more. This time, when your hands find my chest, I don’t pull away.
Why?
Because you’re right.
-End
Cross-posted to my LJ,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hawkeyeisbi, and FF.net.
Title: Want
Author: Me
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A prequel to “Need.”
Pairing: Hawkeye/Sidney
Disclaimer: Uh. Not mine, I promise. I’m just playing with them. I’ll put them back into the toy chest when I’m done.
I sit in the VIP tent unable to sleep. I’ve had the worst case of insomnia, lately, and I don’t know why. It’s ironic, but I can easily help others figure out what’s wrong with them, but when it comes to myself, most of the time I’m lost.
Suddenly, I hear knocking. “Come in,” I say and you walk into the tent with a tired smile. “Hawkeye, how can I help you?” You sit down in a chair
“Hi, Sidney. I couldn’t sleep and saw your light on. Figured I’d drop in for a chat,” you say, lightly, but I can tell something is wrong.
“What’s wrong, Hawkeye?” I ask, looking into your eyes briefly. I don’t know why, but lately I’ve been having trouble doing that for any length of time. Every time I do, I get this strange feeling. I don’t know how long this feeling has been there, but recently it’s been getting stronger. I think I know what it is, but I’m afraid to acknowledge it.
“You always know. I thought you were a psychiatrist, not a psychic.” You smile weakly. “Have you ever felt something for someone you shouldn’t be feeling?”
Yes.
“Ah, I think we all have. Who is it, Hawkeye?”
“BJ.”
I’m sure my eyes widen - I wasn’t expecting that. I was expecting one of the married nurses, or someone along those lines. But your best friend? Well, that throws me for a loop.
It also causes another strange emotion to well up inside me. What is that? Jealousy? Impossible.
“BJ?” I ask. I think the shock is clear in my voice.
It’s jealousy.
You look at me seriously. “You don’t think I’m... a freak, right?”
I constantly see you either laughing and joking or serious and angry and I forget how child-like your behavior gets at times. You’ve always been a complex person. Maybe that is why I’m drawn to you.
“No, Hawkeye. You’re not a freak.” I sigh.
Standing up from the chair, you walk over to me and sit down next to me. “What’s wrong with you, Sidney?”
“Nothing. Trying to take my job, are you?” I smile insincerely. You notice.
“No, I’m a friend who’s concerned.”
“Let’s just say... I understand your problem first hand.”
You nod, seemingly unfazed and not surprised. “Who?”
The decision - to tell or not to tell. It’s unsettling, being a shrink, being someone who figures out other people’s thoughts and feelings for a living, and having little control over my own.
“You.” I whisper, completely without permission from my mind.
“Me?” You seem surprised, and, if I can tell from your look, to be thinking, ‘What’s so great about me?’
I open my mouth to speak again, but I’m surprised once more. You kiss me.
I don’t know why, I don’t know what you’re thinking or what possessed you, and I’m not really concerned with any of those matters right now. I kiss back.
How long do we sit there kissing? I don’t know, but as soon as I feel your hands on me, I jump, and pull away. What am I doing? You’re my patient. You came to me for help
You have feelings for someone else.
“Hawkeye, what - ”
“Shhh...” you whisper, bringing your finger to my lips. I’ve never seen you like this. You really are rather complex. How many different sides to your personality are there? “We both want this.” You add, before descending on my lips once more. This time, when your hands find my chest, I don’t pull away.
Why?
Because you’re right.
-End
Cross-posted to my LJ,
hawkeyeisbi, and FF.net.
