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[ashilleong.livejournal.com]

Title: Hell is a Silver Lady.
By: JMA
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Adult Themes.
Summary: All he has left are the memories of other people.



Private James Corgan has six memories and only one of them is his.
They are all he has left.

The first memory is of is a young woman trapped in a stall. He's sure she wants it. Sure, even though she tell him no. He has her pinned against the wall and he's so sure, and when it's over she's crying and he's sick to his stomach and wondering exactly what it was he was so sure of.
He still wears the name.

He remembers being a little girl, remembers things she can't. Her father loves her, but it's not his way to say so. He is not affectionate with her in public, and it's this lack of affection that destroys her in the end.
She has too many uncles. Even now she is trying to make older man happy, in the only way she knows.

Another memory and he's living in a rough neighbourhood, trying hard not to be the ugly foreign kid. He translates for his parents and grand parents and wishes he looked a little less like him and a little more like the kids who beat him up. On a good day he pretends he is Italian instead.
His best friend is a little girl from down the road, and he wonders what is would be like to change his skin the way she changes her dresses.

Then he's a popular young man, a medical student, talented and going places. He jokes too much and parties too hard and has a steady girlfriend he can't commit to. He thinks there's something wrong with him. One night he kissed his best friend, who is not a girl, in a way that is not a joke. He is pushed away, he makes some more jokes, and he doesn't do it again.
He always knew there was something wrong with him.

There is a memory of a little boy, so much like him he forgets that the memory is not his own. The little boy is hiding under the bed because other boys threw stones at him and called him names. They said that only the devil's children could hear things before they were said, before they were done. He can't really remember his father and he's scared it might be true. His mother finds him, wipes away his tears, and tells him that his gift was a gift from God. Some days he still doesn't believe her.
Even when his gift saves lives.

They are other people's memories, other people's secrets, and they are all he has since the shells hit. Shelled, he can't move, can't speak, so their secrets are safe with him. Other people's memories, except one.

He remembers a film he once saw, where a greyscale actress stands in the rain.