[challenge] Moving on

[dougs.livejournal.com]

Last night, loneraven wrote:
> Today's challenge, then, taken randomly from New Scientist:
> It was a bit like-

Like much of my writing, this takes its rise from events in my own life. You have to learn to leave the past behind, especially if it's crippling your participation in the present, or the future.

I don't think it's especially good -- there are some dodgy rhymes and there could be better resonances between the first eight lines and the last six. And I don't much like the 4+4+6 structure either, I'm more at home with 4+4+4+2.

Never mind. It took about twelve minutes.

( With apologies to Henry. )

[challenge] Moving on

[dougs.livejournal.com]

Last night, loneraven wrote:
> Today's challenge, then, taken randomly from New Scientist:
> It was a bit like-

Like much of my writing, this takes its rise from events in my own life. You have to learn to leave the past behind, especially if it's crippling your participation in the present, or the future.

I don't think it's especially good -- there are some dodgy rhymes and there could be better resonances between the first eight lines and the last six. And I don't much like the 4+4+6 structure either, I'm more at home with 4+4+4+2.

Never mind. It took about twelve minutes.

( With apologies to Henry. )