FIC: I still wish I knew
Nov. 16th, 2006 04:59 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
siggen1.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
mash_slashTitle: I still wish I knew
Author:![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
siggen1
Pairing: implied Mulcahy/Gail Harris
Rating: 13+, to be on the same side.
Warnings: It's het... If you don't like, don't read =P
Disclaimer: I own a Mac and a cell phone. Try to take either, and I'll flame you. Where was I? Oh, yeah, I don't own M*A*S*H or anything pertaining thereof.
Author’s Notes: I randomly checkedmash_challenge, and caught a challenge murf1013 had posted there ages ago. The bunnies started torturing me, so I had to write this, despite the two papers for school due in respectively one and two weeks. It's incredibly short, and could (and probably will) be fleshed more out. Still, glad for all feedback!
Formurf1013, I hope you aren't too upset that it isn't slash.
Summary: Father Mulcahy ponders what didn't happen.
I still wish I knew what it would have felt like to kiss you.
When you hugged me, I pushed you away, because that was the only thing I could do. God knows it took all my strength to do that, and had you persisted, I probably would have given in. I would have kissed you, and knowing myself, maybe I wouldn’t even have stopped at mere kissing. Even now my body trembles when I think about it.
I don’t know where you are. I got a letter inviting me to your graduation from medical school, but I couldn’t bear to go, couldn’t bear to let you see what has become of me. I’m turning into an old man, and the war left a solid mark on me. I’m deaf. Not hearing your voice, having to explain to you what happened. Having you look at me with a look of pity, mingled with a little admiration, like everyone else looks at me… I’m not ashamed of what and who I am, and the looks of pity don’t bother me. But with you, I’d be ashamed, and a look of pity would kill me.
I sent you a letter back, saying I was unfortunately not going to make it, but that I wished you all the best.
It must be ten years since I last saw you, but the thought of you is still enough to make my heart beat faster. Sometimes I look at the photo you sent me from the graduation – that was the last time I heard from you, and the last time you heard from me. You looked just like you did when you left Korea five years earlier, so young, so perfect. Another five years later I’m sure you’re still as beautiful.
I hope you’ve found someone to love, someone to love you, but I still wish things were different. I still wish I knew what it would have felt like to kiss you. I couldn’t, but God knows I wanted to.
Author:
siggen1Pairing: implied Mulcahy/Gail Harris
Rating: 13+, to be on the same side.
Warnings: It's het... If you don't like, don't read =P
Disclaimer: I own a Mac and a cell phone. Try to take either, and I'll flame you. Where was I? Oh, yeah, I don't own M*A*S*H or anything pertaining thereof.
Author’s Notes: I randomly checked
mash_challenge, and caught a challenge murf1013 had posted there ages ago. The bunnies started torturing me, so I had to write this, despite the two papers for school due in respectively one and two weeks. It's incredibly short, and could (and probably will) be fleshed more out. Still, glad for all feedback!For
murf1013, I hope you aren't too upset that it isn't slash.Summary: Father Mulcahy ponders what didn't happen.
I still wish I knew what it would have felt like to kiss you.
When you hugged me, I pushed you away, because that was the only thing I could do. God knows it took all my strength to do that, and had you persisted, I probably would have given in. I would have kissed you, and knowing myself, maybe I wouldn’t even have stopped at mere kissing. Even now my body trembles when I think about it.
I don’t know where you are. I got a letter inviting me to your graduation from medical school, but I couldn’t bear to go, couldn’t bear to let you see what has become of me. I’m turning into an old man, and the war left a solid mark on me. I’m deaf. Not hearing your voice, having to explain to you what happened. Having you look at me with a look of pity, mingled with a little admiration, like everyone else looks at me… I’m not ashamed of what and who I am, and the looks of pity don’t bother me. But with you, I’d be ashamed, and a look of pity would kill me.
I sent you a letter back, saying I was unfortunately not going to make it, but that I wished you all the best.
It must be ten years since I last saw you, but the thought of you is still enough to make my heart beat faster. Sometimes I look at the photo you sent me from the graduation – that was the last time I heard from you, and the last time you heard from me. You looked just like you did when you left Korea five years earlier, so young, so perfect. Another five years later I’m sure you’re still as beautiful.
I hope you’ve found someone to love, someone to love you, but I still wish things were different. I still wish I knew what it would have felt like to kiss you. I couldn’t, but God knows I wanted to.
