This is really lovely. I'm impressed by how gracefully you integrate the metaphor, especially in that final couplet: "I stand here in the river's flow and sigh/while chances, like the water, pass me by." (I don't know why I'm quoting that back at you, since I expect you know what your final couplet was!) Very nice job.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-15 12:15 pm (UTC)