A Correspondence 1/?, JordanDesolated

[jordandesolated.livejournal.com]

Alright, I was terribly bored... so I decided to begin writing a series of post-war letters between our (or my, at least) two favorite surgeons, BJ and Hawkeye. I do have a plot in mind, so expect more soon... but here are the first few to give you all a little taste. They might both be horribly out of character, but... hey.


Title: A Correspondence 1/?
Author: JordanDesolated
Pairing: Hawkeye/BJ, BJ/Peg, vague Hawkeye/various females
Rating: E for now, but will definitely go up
Warnings: None so far.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Please don't sue me.

A Correspondence

Hawkeye --

I'm sorry I didn't write before now, it's just... you know how it is. Well, actually I guess you don't, with just your father there to greet you -- if you weren't just lying that you wouldn't be immediately covered in woman ready and able to nurse your war wounds, -- but Peg and Erin have been keeping me well occupied... the only reason I could steal a minute to write to you now is that she's at the store... Peg wanted me to go with her there, too, even though she knows I'll just get in the way. It's only natural, I suppose. She wants to spend every moment with me to try and make up for lost time.

Which makes it hurt even more that all I can think about is you. I'm sorry, I know you said that I couldn't write letters like this... I know that was what you meant, looking at me with such hard eyes and practically informing me that I'd be too busy with my family to even think about you.

Damn. Sorry, Hawkeye, I have to go... Erin's run over to the door, which I assume means her mother's about to walk in -- she's a little like Radar about that. It's hard to put away groceries with a toddler at your hip, I'm sure... she shouldn't have had to manage without me for so long before, the least I can do is help now and hope that I really do get too busy.

- BJ

 

Beej! I was beginning to give up on you. You can't trick me, BJ, I know your wife's been keeping you busy doing more than putting away groceries.

I'm glad to hear that everything's good with them. It sounds fine to me, anyway. Crabapple Cove is just about exactly as I left it... Dad's fine, though he's starting to show his age a little – you wouldn't believe how many chores he left waiting for me back home. That's alright, though, it's been hard getting used to having so little to do again... especially since I can barely sleep without Charles' snoring to keep me awake. Funny how things like that start to make sense, isn't it? My practice is just getting back into the swing of things so that should help life pick up soon enough... I had to splint an arm the other day, a beautiful, clean break, and I almost had to leave the room -- it made me laugh so hard... the sudden normalcy of everything, you know? What's it like over there? Did you get your job back?

I wasn't lying about the women, but I do have a date set up for tonight... beautiful brunette, brought her little brother in with a stomach ache that turned out to be an ulcer. Can't say much for her parents on that account, but she seems sweet enough... I'm sure you'd wish me luck, if you were here.

Alright... admittedly, if you were here I wouldn't give two damns about how sweet any girl might be, but you aren't. You're up there with Peg and Erin, where we both know you belong, and I told you we weren't going to do this. So next time I expect a letter which you could write with the little Mrs. reading over your shoulder while Erin drools on hers, alright?

-Hawkeye

Hawkeye, I wish that you wouldn't.. damn it, I don't know. Nevermind. This feels unfair somehow, but since you obviously blame me for the fact that we aren't together I guess I'm not allowed complain, right?

So I'll try to do what you ask. I didn't get my job back, no, but it wasn't a great one anyway... I have something much better now. I was worried, knowing I couldn't help being behind on most of the modern advances, but there are some things we did in Korea that the doctors here couldn't think of in a hundred years. Turns out that what the army always said was true – I did learn a few things over there.

Erin's getting so big, I hardly feel like I missed anything with all the pictures Peg took for me. She says tried to send hundreds of them to me in Korea but the postman wouldn't let her! He said it'd be better for me to see them when I got home, when I could really appreciate them for memories instead of just things I was missing... and I've got to say I think he was right. Strange place to find wisdom, but then again Peg never did anything by halves... She decided to take a bunch of cooking classes while I was gone, and she's always so excited about making meals for me now I can't bare to tell her that I'm so used to forcing down the glop from the mess tent that I can hardly taste it.

Should I feel strange talking about them with you, Hawkeye? I know that's what you want... maybe I wish I felt strange talking about them, but I don't. I never did, even when we were -- When you and I...

I haven't told Peg. I wish that you were hurt by that, too, that you weren't actually the one who made me swear not to tell her when it wasn't even you that I'd slept with – when it didn't matter.

Sorry. I'm Sorry. Give me a little time. I'm not used to... damn it, censoring myself for you. You were always the one who I could talk to about anything. I miss that, I don't want our letters to just have to be meaningless lists of the major events in our lives when I know you're thinking about me, Hawk, about me and the war... is that all that's going to come of what we had in Korea? That we can't really be friends anymore?

That's the only reason I'd ever regret it, Hawkeye... you should know that. I know – well, I hope, anyway, that that'll mean something to you still. Shouldn't hope for it... if I thought maybe you didn't care, it'd make it a hell of a lot easier to convince myself that I don't either.

Hah... that was a lie before, wasn't it? You don't blame me. I blame me. You wanted me to go back to Peg. I can't help wondering whether that's because you really do think that this is where I belong, or if you want to be running around dating pretty brunettes... It never hurt in Korea, when you were all I had. Why does it hurt so much now?

I'm sorry. You're right, we can't do this. It doesn't help. I'll try harder next time.

Your friend,

BJ Hunnicutt